How the Choices You Make When You Are a Teenager Affect Your Future.
Posted: Wednesday, March 12, 2008
by Kathy Somers
At one time I was a teenager just like you; now I am 42 years old. Like you, I thought I was grown up and that I knew everything.
"I am an adult now and I can do what I want." This is how I thought when I was 16.
I remember my mother telling me what not to do. I just did the opposite, not to make her mad, but the things she told me to stay away from made it more interesting and I just had to dabble in them.
I remember when she sat down and gave me a choice to make. She would say "You can do it if you want and ruin your life or you can choose not do it." I usually would choose the right decision. But when I wasn't allowed to make a decision, whatever she said not to do I did. I wish she would have sat down and spoken to me about all aspects of growing up and explained things to me, instead of saying "Don't you let me catch you..." and had given me the choice and the knowledge of whatever aspects of life it pretained to.
Now I am mother of two boys ages 2 and 3. I am really glad that I did not get pregnant, let alone have sex. What a life change! If I were a teenager and pregnant and I knew what I know now about raising kids, I don't know what I would do. It's a huge responsibility and a demand in your life. Your life will never be your own or the same ever again. I know right now and I am going to tell you all, that getting pregnant at a young age is a big mistake!
The only reason parents tell you not to do something is because they were teenagers as well. Yes, the times have changed, but some things remained the same. Parents do not want you to make the same mistakes they made, or make the same mistakes that their friends had made at that time.
A few examples a parent may warn you about would be:
Don't smoke-it is not cool at all, it stinks, it's expensive and it is highly addictive. You think it is hard to quit smoking now if you do smoke, just wait until you have smoked twenty years and try to quit. Oh I forgot, no one tells you what to do.
Don't drink and drive-I have lost people in my life that were killed in car accidents whether they were driving drunk or their friend was drinking and driving. I do have one friend who was drunk and had killed someone else. Remember that your family and friends travel on the same highways as you do.
Those are just a couple of examples. There are a lot more that I could mention, but I think you know what I am saying.
Now that time has gone by and all my mistakes are behind me, I wish I could go back and do it all over again. I would have listened to what my parents told me. It would have saved me a lot of heartache, a lot of guilt, and I would feel proud of who I was for making the right choices. Instead, I have huge regrets about my past and what I have done wrong. Almost every day I think about the choices I have made and it bothers me a lot, I try to push the thoughts aside, but they keep coming back. I don't want that for anyone.
I was driving past a church a few months ago, and they have a sign outside where they change the sayings on it every week. This day it read "Why do you keep condemning yourself when God has already forgiven you?" That saying is so true, but it is easier said than done for me.
Regretting what you have done in your past doesn't make you feel very good in the future. I have spoken to a couple of my personal friends about this before I decided to write an article on choices and they feel the same as I do.
So remember, most parents are only looking out for you, they want what is best for you, they want to see you happy with the life ahead of you, and they want you to get a job that you enjoy and to feel good about yourself. They are not trying to control you; they are watching out for your best interests.
This article will not make any difference to most of you, because you already know it all. I want you to understand that you don't.
Ahead of you in this life will come a time that you will have to get a job, pay bills, perhaps raise a family and deal with choices that you have made and ones that you will have to make in your future.
Before you get into something that everyone else is doing and they want you to join in, think for one minute, "Should I or shouldn't I?" If you are thinking "I shouldn't," then don't. Do not worry about what your friends think. If they are your true friends they will like you no matter what.
I hope I have made some of you see that making the right choices will lead you down the good path of life. No one is perfect. Just try to make wise choices now so that you can feel proud of yourself, now and in the future. Then you don't have to try and hide or cover up the mistakes of your past.
Just remember this one thing -- I've been there, done that, and now I fell bad about the choices I had made.
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More commentsHi Kathy I am going to send this article to my Grandaughters.. maybe they will read it and pay attention to what you have said.. thank you for writing it. RosieHi Rosie, you know I talked to one girl about things that she is doing now and how she will regret it. But her answer was that nothing bothers her, and that she doesn't have a conscience about anything. Neither did I then.....but as time passes and mistakes are made and things happen, it builds from a small hill into a huge mountain. Young people don't see that at all, and neither did I. I just hope for someone to read this and think about it, truly think about it. And if there is anyone out there that wants to ask me any questions or anything don't be shy... Rosie :) Good Luck with your grand daughters. Tell them to pay attention and use their heads.
The important thing about that article is this: THIS WILL BE WAY USEFUL TO A LOT OF TEENAGERS. THIS SHOULD BE SENT TO SITES THAT TEENAGERS FREQUENT. YOU ARE SAYING THIS FROM EXPERIENCE AND FROM THE HEART AND WITH THE GOOD OF HUMANS IN MIND. JEEPERS, THIS STORY IS GOING TO SAVE LIVES! SOME TEENAGERS ARE GOING TO READ THIS AND THINK ABOUT IT AND MAKE A CONSCIOUS DECISION TO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE OR TO NOT DO DRUGS OR TO NOT HAVE A BABY TOO EARLY. OH MY, GREAT JOB, KSW!!!! I really do think this is an inspiring article. I have sent this link to some teenage nephews and nieces, and I encourage others to do that, too, really. Very good writing, Kathy. ALSO, YOU ARE WAY TOO HARD ON YOURSELF. The way you reach out to others by writing these types of helpful, useful, and heartfelt words..........wow, this shows you are such a good, good person. Thank you for writing this excellent article!Sherry I don't know what to say, except Thank you and I find it hard to accept all that praise about my article, but maybe your right. If one teen gets anything out of what I said it's worth thee entire world. I will go and look up a couple of places where teens flock to on the internet for help or whatever and see what's up, I don't know where to start though, but thank you for the great idea. xx
Nice article Kath. love you xxxxU2 Flo.... Did you ever do anything in your past that you wish you had of listened to your family or friends trying to tell you NOT to. Then you do it anyways?
Hi Kathy, what a great article! I hope there are a lot of teenagers that will read it. What a beautiful young lady you have grown up to be and a wonderful talented Mom... DarHi Dar... :) Thanks for saying that xo
Hi Kathy. This is a really good article and teenagers everywhere should read it. It might do some of them some good. Others will just blow it off, you know, because teenagers "really do know more and better than their parents." I think we all go through that phase and hopefully survive it. I know one young man who drank and drove and rolled his truck. He was in a coma for three days and has permanent brain damage. Sadly, once he got his license back, he did it again. As for yourself, you really do need to forgive yourself. As a teenager, not having the wisdom you do now, you were making the best decisions you knew how. You probably felt, as we all did, that your parents were just trying to keep you from having fun, from making your own decisions about what was right for you and finding out who you were as a separate individual from your parents. And remember, all those life experiences are what has made you who you are today and given you the wisdom you now possess. Some things can be taught, but some things need to be learned.Hi thanks for the great comment...about that guy you were speaking of, sometimes it takes more than once doing something stupid before we learn. Yeah I thought my parents were trying to be controlling, well they were but in a way that I didn't understand, it was in a way that was for my own good. I also know that your past makes you the person who you are today as well, but I still can't shake my feelings away. I am a person who dwells in the past and I always have been, and I don't know how on earth to change that...I prayed about it, I even said in one of my articles, Yesterday is gone, there is nothing we can do about it, it over with, tomorrow isn't here yet, just concentrate on today ONLY.....i try to do that and it seems to work most times, but my brain pops things up again and again and I have to give my head a shake....
Another gem, Kathy. Keep up the writing. Dave po from Po's Peek.Hi Dave...some times I get a mental block and can't think of what to write, and then when I do think of something, I don't know if I should write about it or not....LOL Thanks for reading it though and for the compliament
Hey Kathy!!! Great article. If it is okay with you, I would like to share this with my students. I teach 13 year olds... something I could use for my homeroom TEAM. Great writing. KimHi Kim....how are you doing? Certainly you can use this....Honestly You want to? I have lots more I could have written but I will save that for an different article....How are things way over there in...Iraq, or Iran, I can't remember where your teaching English..anyway be safe OK....
You are right on the mark, Kathy. Well said. Thank you for your insight...I know that doing ourselves is not always the best teacher, but that seems like how I usually learned all the mistakes!!! I'm so glad that God is merciful, your friend and Pastor, DianeME TOO Diane, I wish I was merciful on my self...LOL Thanks for reading this...I liked your sermon this morning very much I just wish I wasn't so tired, the kids had me up about 4 times last night. Will they ever sleep all night?? Thanks for leaving a comment also...
I think we all regret the choices we made as a teenager. If I could go back and see my 18 year old self I would give her a good smack. My daughter who is almost 18 is making a lot of bad choices concerning her education that she repeats over & over. I don't think that even your words will get through to her. Sometimes teens just need to learn the hard way like we did.If I could go back to see myself at 18 years old also, I think I would have put myself out of the house. No I wasn't that bad, but I put my parents through a lot of worry. This words in this article probably will not sink in to even 2% of the young people that read this, but it may sink into just one young person mind. Hopefully.... Thanks for leaving a comment Rose !!
your article is a brilliant peice of work. personally i a m a teenager and often dont listen to my moms "do's" and "dont's". after i have read your article life has made more sense to me... gotta go dad doesnt know im on the lap top. keep writing its good and encouraging!!!BaBy RaYHi BaBy Ray:Thanks for reading and writing me a comment. Try to do me a favor, and try to listen to your mom and dad if you can. I know it's hard when WE want to do what WE want to. i am still like that at times, but my choices now are made with my conscience intact. It wasn't intact back then, and now I can't seem to get yucky feelings I have to go away for what I did do. Some people, it doesn't bother them at all, but I am the type that things do bother me.Pretend you want to go...somewhere, you ask your mom, she says NO, you ask her why, she tells you.......your mad ........just before you blow up go to your room or some where and sit for a few minutes and think about her reasons first, then put yourself in your mothers shoes, and pretend you have kids........etc etcThen you may think...yeah she's right, or you may think...like I did, and do it anyway and regret it. I remember many of times waking up the next day, thinking, Oh my God what did I do last night? What did I say? I did what??? I hope no one finds out... then it's lie lie lie, to your parents, friends etc and then you have a real sickening gross lump your guts for a few days worring about it.If you still decide on going where she doesn't want you to go, remember, just becareful and don't do anything I would have done.. ;)Think before you do.........
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